Bruno P. Duitsman has built his sprawling empire from literally nothing. His is truly a story of rags to riches. Little is known of his formative years. Bruno's past is virtually untraceable and he himself has repressed much of it. He was born on or about August 13th 1935 somewhere in the Midwest, but there is no record of his birth in any state. He has no recollection of his birth parents as he was weaned and abandoned at only six weeks old. The helpless orphan was then passed from foster family to foster family, all of them horribly abusive. It was during this torturous and lonely period that his ears were severed from his head with a pair of kitchen shears, presumably by a foster father. Surprisingly the worst was yet to come. His final foster home was possibly the most horrific. Bruno lived with this family for the longest period of time and they are the only family that he can openly recall. They were a young, childless couple in Indianapolis, Indiana. Much of Bruno's time with this couple was spent locked in a cage, too small for him to do anything but curl up into a ball, or sitting in a car in the hot sun for long hours while his foster father worked. This foster father, whom we will call "Fred", was an uneducated, alcoholic drug-user who was very angry and abusive. How this poor child ended up in this family, we may never know. "Fred" even had a police record and extensive history of violence. "Fred" was highly abusive to his wife, "Cooki", as well as our dear Bruno and his foster siblings. Bruno was never allowed a formal education and was instead being trained to fight. This "training" was certainly not that of an Olympic hopeful or a boxing champ. It was grueling, sadistic torture inflicted on him by a stonehearted, soulless monster. Bruno was beaten and bloodied not only by fists, but also by hammers, two-by-fours, baseball bats and any other implement of torture that "Fred" could lay his hands on. He was even abused from the inside out; being force-fed hot peppers, gunpowder and even glass. He had never received any kind of medical attention and his intestines were infested with bloodthirsty parasites that went untreated for months, possibly even years.

   Through all of this pain and suffering, our hero remained true to himself. Bruno would not lash out. Bruno would not fight. He refused to allow these horrible people to break his spirit or crush his love of life. This only incensed "Fred", bringing on more abuse and torture. Bruno was thin, quiet, timid and brooding. He was depressed, lonely and virtually devoid of self-worth. He would sit in his cage and chew his nails, hands, feet and legs in sorrow. These were black years for Bruno P. Duitsman.

   Then one day, he met Brooke, his "real mom" as he calls her. An acquaintance of "Cooki's", Brooke came to the house for a visit one afternoon. For the first moment in his life, Bruno felt warmth, love and a tender, nurturing touch. From that day forth, whenever Brooke would come to the house, Bruno was at the foot of her chair, on her lap or following at her side. It was only a short time before Brooke realized the insanity that went on in that house. She went to visit less often, only continuing to go to check on Bruno. She had to find a way to get him out. Finally, it happened, a frantic late-night phone call from "Cooki". "He is going to shoot him! "Fred" is going to kill Bruno!" she wept into the phone. Brooke withdrew all of the money that she could from savings, had some quick documents drawn up and was at their front door. She coaxed "Fred" and "Cooki" to release Bruno into her custody.

   The trip back to Brooke's house was surreal for Bruno. He felt that he had finally closed the book on a dark chapter of his life. Underweight, sick and emaciated, he saw a doctor for the first time in his life. He ate decent food, slept in a bed, went for walks and played with peers. It's hard to believe that Bruno P. Duitsman's journey began one frightening night in Indiana; scared, lonely, beaten and without even a stitch of clothing to his name. One of the most well-known, powerful corporate heads in America started out as a naked, terrified boy, afraid to speak, eat or sleep without permission.

   Bruno P. Duitsman has come a long way since then. Under Brooke's care he blossomed. With love and support, he was able to conquer his fears, develop his mind and heal his body. His interest in business first began in the late sixties while he was working for U.S. Postal Service in Washington, D.C. One of the many stops on his route was 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Over the years, he had befriended Little Beagle Johnson who was attending business classes at Georgetown University. One day, Little Beagle asked for Bruno's help with an assignment. They needed to come up with a successful business venture by the end of the semester. Bruno, inspired by his career as a mail carrier, decided that they should place a few tiny classified ads in the local paper and let the money come to them. Bruno thought, "Who better to deliver the bags of money than myself!?" Little Beagle was rather unsure about the whole idea, but the "bags of money" did come. They made thousands and thousands of dollars from these tiny classified ads. By the end of the semester, Little Beagle Johnson got an "A" and EarlessDog Enterprises was born.

   From his tiny one-bedroom apartment, Bruno began placing thousands of tiny classified ads in newspapers across the country. The money continued to pour in. He soundly invested this money in Kong Toys, The Murine Earwax Removal System, Neuticles and a line of bitch fetish wear. These early investments yielded even more money for Bruno and he began buying and selling real estate and providing financial backing for independent films (much of director David Lynch's early work would never have been completed were it not for Bruno). From this, his empire grew. Bruno's natural knack for finance and investment and his creative genius skyrocketed him to fame and fortune. Now he is frequently spotted hobnobbing with the rich and famous or traveling the world in his private Lear jet (which he pilots himself).

   Although Bruno has made himself into a powerful and influential figure, he has never forgotten his humble beginnings. He has donated millions to Johns-Hopkins University Medical Center for ear-transplant research and has opened numerous shelters for those afflicted by abuse, homelessness and poverty. He is currently planning to open an orphanage, The Bruno P. Duitsman Home for Kids Without Ears or Parents. Because of his generosity, kind heart and fun-loving nature, Bruno is quite possibly the world's most loved and admired multi-billionaire. Most people would agree that the world is a better place thanks to the love of an Earless Dog.

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